I wish I liked babies more.
I really do!
It was my New Year's Resolution to like babies more, actually.
It's not that I dislike them or think they're horrible or anything but they just make me extremely nervous. They're always moving and gurgling and taking in the world and I'm afraid I could screw some of that up. I don't mind looking at baby pictures- I mean, that part I like and I can handle. A baby of any species is adorable- giraffe, hippo, duck, etc. They're precious in pictures, yes, but it always happens that I end up being asked to hold one. Some cute mother is holding her bundle of joy and bouncing it so perfectly and then they ask, "Do you want to hold her/him?". Of course, I never know what to say after they ask and are staring back, waiting for an answer and batting their eyelashes and looking at you as if to say "compliment my child's cuteness or I will kill you". Sometimes I oblige and then I'm just panic-striken. I trust myself holding things, but I just don't want to screw anything up. I don't want this little person to be at all uncomfortable and I know I can't do that little rocking-bouncing-mom-arm thing so I lose confidence. And then there's the other thing- the staring. Children can win any starting contest and they just look at you with those big innocent eyes and I, A). Feel like they're secretely judging me or B). Think there is a camera installed in that tiny retina. It's unnerving. I'm not saying BABY-PANIC-MODE happens daily but when it does, I feel part-idiot and part-inept. I just don't want to screw up, you know? I don't want to teach the wrong thing or do something that would cause the little sunshiney face to start to cry. Paranoid much?
You know....I have no honest clue why I am even writing about this at all.
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