Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Apply Some Pressure

Dear Mark Ronson,

I would just like to let you know that whenever your schedule is free, I'm here. We can remix a Phantom Planet album or we can maybe take an old Al Green song and give it a new kick. I am not opposed to adding the Dap-Kings in there somewhere, also. Please consider that a) I love you b) I think you're wonderful and c) I would probably do anything you asked of me. I know you've got a thing for Lily Allen and Amy Winehouse, so I can stock up on Nike hi-tops and black liquid eyeliner in a flash if that'll do it for ya. I have your album on repeat and I've had it playing for months now.....in other words, let's duet.

Sincerely,
Kelsey Manning

P.S. I am considering changing my name to Valerie, also. It would be more convenient, I know.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Cause Maybe

I heard it for the first time in forever today. I don't think I attached much to the original version of the song. There was a slower cover that I basked in for years and kept to myself and tried to explain to other people but saw they lost interest. It's almost frustrating because the lyrics don't come outright and tell you, and to be completely honest I still have no idea what the entire concept of being someone's wonderwall even means. I know that I want a wonderwall, though. I've heard it a lot, different versions and covers and mash-ups and they all resonate in different ways, but there was this one moment that really brought it all home.

It was last year, five days before I turned 17 and it was humid outside, even more so since we had lawn seats. I wasn't expecting too much other than the simple fact that I knew I'd be entertained. They weren't the greatest band, but they were upbeat and they kept the crowd happy. Jenny was ecstatically multi-tasking-- taking pictures and video while singing along to every word. Carolyn and Laura were crossing fingers that the best songs were played. They last song was 'Look After You' and it turned into one big sing-a-long. The weird part was that the first concert that mattered in my life? Same thing happened, same exact song, only a much smaller crowd and The Fray was the opening band at that time....but, I digress. They were playing 'Look After You' and you could tell that it was the song of the night. The song all the couples swoon to and the song that no one takes a picture during, so as not to break the atmosphere. Suddenly, out of nowhere, this disco ball drops down, the song changes and just when I think they can't make it even more cheesy, Issac shouts out, "Sing it like you're at your high school prom!" Those first few chords and Laura spills her drink and screams. It's the song that mattered to her, to everyone, in high school. We're all singing and you can tell half the place doesn't know the words because they all look twelve, but we're all in this moment because we know it's big. And lemme tell you, the face that Laura made on "Cause maybe you're gonna be the one that saves me" was spectacular. I'm pretty sure we were all off-key but it didn't matter, because it was something that we couldn't have predicted or known and it hit hard, but it felt good.

It always amazes me how a song can hold that much over your life, like it's a part of you. It can matter that much, can wreck you that much, so much so that when you hear it in the car, you have to pull over, because you go back to those memories, that one spot where that song was exactly what you needed. You want to cry and shout and laugh all at the same time for that place in your life that it brings back. You're pulled over and it's a few beats and voices and nothing means more than drowning in that mix of chords. It doesn't matter how popular it is or what it means or doesn't mean to someone else, it still can take control of you for those few minutes and your life is affected by four minutes of sound.

Cause after all, you're my wonderwall.

I don't know

It's frustrating living through something else, but it's common. It's as if your own memories aren't good enough, aren't shiny and edited well enough, so you cling on and hold tightly to something that you didn't create, but that resonates deeply within you.

Do people that write hit songs really know how big they are going to be? Does someone really wake up with a melody in their ear and write it down and then two weeks later that same melody is in the ears of millions?

It's easy to love an object- it requires nothing back. You can pour into it and it's not going to leave your side. You can be confident that the same few minutes of sound and picture will look and sound the same as it did the day before. That's why loving someone takes a whole lot more. Because that someone could change their mind, could leave or be forced away and you would end up giving all of this to someone that won't give you anything back. It's a scary thought.