Do I have to go with the cookie analogy?

There are frequent times where my ipod is useless because there's a melody sounding so strongly in my head that headphones seem silly. I get nervous that in the quiet lecture halls someone else can hear the swiftly-moving notes and the swelling crescendos as loudly as I can. I have a problem focusing on important dates in our Constitution's history and Henry James' refined criticisms on modern America's treatment of women as weak figures when I've heard some particularly delicious song earlier that day. I know there's scientific reasons and research of brain patterns to manufacture a reason for why certain sounds seem to stick with you, but I just think it's a little sliver of something bigger than our own existence. I know I can and often do ramble for hours and write pages of words about music and its role in my life but it's just that no matter how much I dissect, I can't quite make sense of why it sticks the way it does. There's seasons where I don't exert myself on music, where nothing seems to sound exciting enough or true enough or shake up my insides but there's always a return back to some harmony and I'm stuck again, hung up on a measure or two for days and lost back in my little iTunes-fueled consciousness.

I finished Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 7 yesterday. This is hardly an accomplishment for a resume and yes, simply the title seems to garner some sort of stereotyped notion from various people, but I'm not going to launch into my usual somewhat-sci-fi-enthusiast defense of the show. All I can say is a small thanks to Joss Whedon and everyone else who decided to write/choreograph/produce/clean floors for a show that meant something to me and went beyond the surface to explore so many things that ring true. There's so much to take in from the fact that even on a small budget, despite criticisms and scoffs of it being nothing but a cheesy show about some blonde who carries around a stake, despite snubs from Emmys and the like, a story that is ultimately original and beautiful can make it. I'm done downsizing things that matter- great storytelling is powerful, no matter the medium. And I mean it when I say it- television will never be low brow. Where do we go from here? Not sure yet, but we'll always have Sunnydale.

*also a large "thank you" to Kevin T. Porter, Zackary E. Wilburn, and Jacqueline M. Findley for introducing/sharing in the joy of vampire slaying with me

Marvelously Remastered and Remixed

There are things to do here, things I missed. People to (literally) run into daily. Abandoned roads to drive down and scream at the impending excitement and darkness. Treasure, not always tangible, to find. Love to communicate! Songs to listen to, albums to live in, letters to paint, cars to name after food network celebrities. Videos to make, news to spread, phrases to repeat. Melodies to write! Lyrics to pen! Classes to sit up straight in. Literature to rest between the lines of and not just purchase.
I've missed not having time, not creating. There's an energy here that encourages me to speak up, to ask a million questions, to flail my arms in some white-girl dancing position 24/7.There's a never-ending list things to talk about, conversations that last four hours by a lake to solidify the fact that God's here and he's got me here for a reason. We're certainly not Ivy League in any sense nor out every weekend til the sun comes up, but all of this matters so much and is not filler time. I'm growing up by myself yet still leaning so desperately and heavily on these refined friends-become-family and it's barely been a substantial week. LET'S GO! No seriously, I've met the hands (with these hands) to hold me together so I don't break like I always have, so let's go! Boldly, even!

If last year's soundtrack ended with Win Butler longing to stay, this year begins with a freeing eight-minute-and-thirty-eight-second borrowed solo that makes me kinda dizzy from all the goodness. Too soon? Ask me tomorrow. Cause I mean it- this place of life and love right here is more than enough, but it's all we got. So what's the equation everyday? No waiting, no putting off. Let's steadily keeping going- cause we're bold, we're bold as love.